Episodes
Ep. 242 | Macca in NOLA with Mark Guarino!
Legendary Chicago singer/songwriter Steve Goodman once sang of riding the rails on a train known as the City Of New Orleans. We have no idea how Chicago-based UBP listener, friend, and journalist/author Mark Guarino (Country & Midwestern, Chicago Sun Times, ABC-TV) got to the worldās greatest arena, the Smoothie King Center, to see Sir Paul rock NOLA. But, if Mark is a real Chicago guy, heās probably still been there since the Bears won Super Bowl XX in January of 1986; unarguably the single greatest day in American history unless you hate excellence and joy. #PaytonIsTheGoat
But all that matters is that Mark did manage to see Macca in one of Americaās most incredible cities, and he generously reported back on the show and the scene for the rest of us. At an extremely exorbitant fee, I might add. $12,000 for an audio field piece? In this economy, Mark???
Tony & T.J. will give their highly anticipated (editorās note: by whom?) recap after they see McCartney in Chicago over Thanksgiving week, you turkeys; but in the meantime weāre excited to share another in our continuing series of the UBP Hive seeing Sir Paul live in 2025. We also ask the tough questions that only OAN has the balls to ask, because theyāre also insane, just not in a healthy and fun way:
š If Mark Guarino were really former J-E-T-S QB Mark Sanchez, would he have tried to randomly murder an older truck driver during āDance Tonightā?
šŗ Does Macca traveling with a horn section cause an existential crisis for Paul āWixā Wickens? And do most of us whoāve been loyal in our jobs for decades now need to worry about being replaced with a horn section? Like, is Paulās horn section really a metaphor for AI? We talkinā about practice? Not the game?
(š§ Angry Chicago Guy:) How come Paul donāt sing no parody of āObsessionā, the Animotion pop hit from 1984 but call it āConcessionā, about not letting me buy no nachos during āMy Valentineā? And how come the woke smoothie arena donāt got no sodium-free nacho cheese, my wife Diane gave me diabetes during the series finale of āBensonā and I canāt eat that junk no more?
EPISODE LINKS
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Ep. 241 | All-Star Beatle Batting Orders - U.S. Edition!
Cricketās for the birds. Itās October (or was October as of pressing) and the only bats that belong within spitting distance of Capitol Records are made in Louisville right in the heart of the olā U.S. of A.
To celebrate the end of another season of Americaās pastime, somehow currently dominated by Canadians (#2025), T.J. and Tony resurrect Producer Caseyās most confusing episode concept: THE BEATLE BATTING ORDER ā this time constructing their lineups exclusively from stateside releases.
Between mouthfuls of peanuts and Cracker Jacks, we wonder:
ā¾ļø ā Is Paul actually a Mets fan, or is Darryl Strawberry just his dealer?
ā¾ļø š Whoās the superior mascot: The San Diego Chicken, or the Untitled Beatles Jimmie Nicol?
ā¾ļø ā [Drunk Chicago Guy] How come we still aināt heard the lost recordings of Kirby Puckett and the Left Field Gap?
EPISODE LINKS
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Ep. 240 | Macca in Minneapolis (2025)
Minneapolis! Home of Prince, āMary Tyler Mooreā, and arguably the most exciting NBA player today, Joe Ingles. And of late, itās home to Producer Casey; who recently took advantage of a last minute opportunity to see Sir Paul McCartney (heard of him, āBeatle fan?ā). Itās Caseyās second Macca concert, and, arguably, first-ever concert. Figure that one out, math!
Casey reports back with special inside information (thatās a lie) from where the mini-appleās mediocre/stupid football team plays (GO BEARS), with news on the Hot City Horns, Minny Moms who Lap Dance, and the still-growing legend of rockās GOAT. Along the way, the Untitled Trio get a special message from our social media guru Glenny the K, who just saw Paul at Producer Caseyās famous pizzarena. Plus, they also ask:
š Is seeing Macca in Des Moines and not eating a Drake Diner burger doused in homemade 1000 island dressing beforehand meant to be a huge middle finger to T.J.? Or does it just come off that way because of the ongoing paranoia?
š·Would rock history have been vastly different or exactly the same if someone gave Stan Bronstein a keyboard with a bad saxophone patch in 1972?
ā¾ļø Do the kewl kids still play marry/f**k/kill with Gary Puckett, Kirby Puckett, and Wilson Pickett?
EPISODE LINKS
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Ep. 239 | Wingstan: The Greatest Greatest Hits of Wings
Everyone knows that the only legitimate and definitive collections of Wings tunes is āWingspanā; obviously the only one that includes Take It Away (obviously not a Wings tune).
At long last, T.J.ās found a venue to sound off on the editorial decisions of now THREE separate Wings greatest hits collection: 1975ās āWings Greatestā, 2001ās āWingspanā, and the latest āWingsā collection due out this November. And Tonyā¦ is an accommodating podcast partner.
While we wax rhapsodic on Wings, we also wonder:
Does his love of āHot Rocksā mean Tonyās a housewife and/or little girl?
Which is the more iconic Chicago eatery: Mr. Submarine, Pockets, or Kenny Rogers Roasters?
[Drunk guyās back at the bar] You tryna tell me that Starbucks album with the ukuleles aināt a greatest hits record?
EPISODE LINKS
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Ep. 238 | 2025 Beatlefest for Beatles Fans
In much of the world, fall has arrived: a time for pumpkin spiced fajitas, cozy, warm Lāeggs (TM), and candy corn suppositories.
But in the magical world of Beatlefestlandia, itās always 85 degrees, Simon Kirke is hanging out with Eddie Deezen, and everyone gets a picture sleeve of Ringoās āYouāre 16ā!
Letās Huey Lewis and the Fake News (#Fox) our way back in time, to August, as we proudly present - in colour! - the global podcast premiere of āThe Beatlefest for Beatles Fansā! BYO colostomy bag o'wine, as Tony, T.J., Producer Casey, P3Z-Nutz, and a Sgt. Pepper movie finale-worthy cast of thousands (tens?) head to Rosemont to kick summerās lazy ass one last time.
Incredibly (bit much?), this year marks the UB3 (#Cantaloop) sharing the Fest for Beatles Fans together, as a trio, for what feels like the first time! Feels like the very first time!
Speaking of Foreigner, If the Roman Emperor from 54 to 68 AD, a.k.a. āThe Antichristā, was a fan, would he have been a Juke Box Nero? (Angry Chicago guy: AND HOW COME THEY ASK JAGBAG QUESTIONS NOW BEFORE THEY EVEN GET TO THE PART OF THE BLURB WHERE THEY SAY THEYāRE GONNA ASK DUMBASS QUESTIONS? AND HOW COME CHICAGO MEDIA DONāT COVER THE WHITE SOX NO MORE JUST CAUSE THEY AINāT IN THE PLAYOFFS? AND HOW COME THE WOKE BLACKHAWKS GOT A THEME NIGHT DEDICATED TOā¦ā)
Sssssh. Heās asleep. His snoring is disturbing, a tell-tale sign that heāll die soon. His son is a dancer, doing āCarouselā in Peoria, and has a roommate named Raoul. Life is tragic for this broken soul, but the sun will rise tomorrow, and when it does, heāllā¦ā¦
Ssssssh, this author is now asleep. Emotionally.
Fin.
EPISODE LINKS
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Ep. 237 | The Songs the Beatles Gave Away
The guys are on a brief hiatus this week, but we proudly present this all-time favorite of ours from back in 2021!
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Originally released August 14 and 21, 2001
Not every Lennon and McCartney tune made its way onto a Beatles record, but that didnāt mean they had to hide away gathering dust, only to be released on some future 20-disc rarities box set. The greatest songwriting duo in history also kicked some of their work over to other artists making their names in the 60sāBilly J. Kramer and the Dakotas, Cilla Black, the Fourmost, some scrappy Londoners calling themselves the Rolling Stones, etc.āand this week T.J. and Tony share some of their four-fab faves the Beatles gave away. And maybe also a couple of tossers.
While theyāre at it, they also made some time to:
Record a pilot episode for the Untitled TV Guide Podcast*
Play a game of "Bob Gaudio, James Guercio, or Joe Guercio?"
And reveal their long-guarded secret that Tony and T.J. were, in fact, Chad, Jeremy, Peter, Gordon, Jan, AND Dean.
Buckle up! It's gonna be a two parter.
* Please no stealing our amazing podcast ideas
--
In this thrilling conclusion, T.J. and Tony get Lost in Space (and Portugal) while rummaging thru the songs John, Paul and George gave to other artistsāP.J. Proby, Mary Hopkin, Badfinger, Jackie Lomax and more. The embarrassment of riches is sure to send you into a lap slappinā frenzy.
As usual, the fellas pose hard-hitting questions such as:
Which performance trick did Paul McCartney nick from Barry Manilow?
Who is the most famous member of Hollywood Vampires?
Do they have the rodeo in the United Kingdom?
Plus cameo appearances by local plumbers from Tonyās crackerbox palace.
Todayās episode was compiled by guest editor LāanJello Peculiarissimo.
EPISODE LINKS
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Ep. 236 | Ringo Live in 2025!
Riverside.FM is proud (neither legally nor officially) to present (allegedly) Chuck Swirsky and The Untitled Beatles Podcast! Brought to you (someday?) by Westmontās incredible Blue Village Vinyl.
And when not spending gobs of sweet improv cash in Chicagolandās many fine vinyl establishments, you can often find the UBP Two doing the next best thing: seeing Ringo Starr And His Approximately Infinite All Starr Band, live in Chicago!
Every ārealā Beatles fan is aware that the Chicago Theaterās most famous moment was when Donny Osmond pranced the stage nightly in a coat of many colors back in 1995. (Trivia: Thatās what killed a ton of old people that summer. #HeGone) But not anymore. Because Ringo Starr in 2025 has never sounded better, supported by a loyal, accomplished band who still rocks hard. Sometimes, for too long!
So join Tony, T.J., Ringo, some true all-stars, a replacement player (e.g. āscabā) or two, and a few great UBP listeners, for some spirited/spirits-filled conversation, and highly illegal concert audio that can rather easily be traced back to the phone on which it was recorded. LOL! So in the interest of free speech, and praying our billion dollar merger with Sinstar Media goes through, letās ignore dumb legalities/norms and instead misdirect with inane questions, like:
šØš„ Is the original āgaslightingā when Aerosmith released the exact same #1 song 17 times in the 90ās?
šš¤ Do people with CDS (Calderstone Derangement Syndrome) know theyāre actually in a cult, cruelly brainwashed by Big Apple?
āš Would the Average White Band have been more successful if theyād stopped being so damn bossy all the time?
EPISODE LINKS
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Ep. 235 | The Beatles at White Sox Park (1965) with Fred Ciba!
F**kād up world, aināt it Untitled Beatle People? Like all rational weirdos, weāre fed up with the fascism that (as of this writing) has removed Jimmy Kimmel from the airwaves. We stand with a fellow comic and avowed Beatles/Letterman stan, and against both censorship and emotionally crippled, diabolical jag bags.
Fortunatelyā¦ we have the perfect antidote to the state of the world, as we go back through the mists of time (cue āThe Long & Winding Roadā from āTripping The Live Fantasticā)ā¦to a time they call the 60ās (ā¦more magic piano blues noodlingā¦) and welcome a die-hard, O.G. Beatles fan and Chicago legend, āBeatleā Fred Ciba!
From being at the Beatles historic Chicago shows to shopping at the Apple Boutique and visiting the original Cavern Club, Fred experienced it all, in real time. Join us as Fred provides a fascinating glimpse into the exhilaration of Beatlemania, as heard on Chicagoās bygone, legendary rock radio stations like WLS, WIND, and WCFL.
Fred also puts up with a fair amount of unnecessary, and, arguably, outright disrespectful nonsense from T.J. (YA SHOCKED?) as the Gab Two also ask:
š¦¶ Will the standalone vinyl of āAnthology 4ā feature āNow & Thenā (Dave Clark Remix)?
š (Angry Chicago Guy, heās wearing a fake LaMarr Hoyt jersey): How come the Herbie Hancock building aināt named after no talking car no more? And how come I aināt never met no other white guy named LaMarr?
šŖ UBP JOKE WORKSHOP ALERT: If a bunch of jerks listen to The Cyrkle, does that make them (wait for it) The JerkCyrkles?
EPISODE LINKS
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Ep. 234 | The Beatles "Help!" (1965 Film) Part 3
Their second film is fab and gear! Untitled Peedles, Have No Fear! 2025, what a year! And our final look at āHelp!ā has arrived! #WeDidntWriteNoPoetry
Tony, T.J., and producer P3Z-Casz put the Finnishing touchers on their āHelp!ā deep-dish, with a side of extra kvetching, as old, sad, deranged people do. Who doesnāt want to hear that? Are U a fan or not, pal? And, while weāre here, are you a fan of these questions?
š (Angry Chicago Guy, heās up late, hoping MeTV will show ONE MORE āHoganās Heroesā before sunrise:) āHow come Tony thinks he can name so many improv scenes on āThe Bear?ā Does this jagbag think heās Del Charna? (#Runaway) And how come Mike Myers never made no movie about Del that I read about in the Reader back when Borders was on Diversy and Clark and Diane aināt dead?ā
š¤¦āāļø Why didn't T.J. get to his āsuper importantā, underlined note about a āshockingly differentā Paul vocal track in the heavily edited āThe Night Beforeā scene? The guys recorded for like six hours, what the hell?
š“ What about your fatherās horse?
EPISODE LINKS
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Ep. 233 | The Beatles "Help!" (1965 Film) Part 2
Help! I need somebody once told me the world is filled with Kaili, but some folks call her Kylie instead. (#SmashMinogue)
What does any of this have to do with the āHelp!ā film? Good point, Buck O(wens); but, then again, what does anything in āHelp!ā have to do with āHelp!ā? I mean, the boys are skiing, theyāre fighting villains at restaurants, they legit own multiple vending machinesā¦ Talk about privilege! #DefundTheBeatles
60 years on, āHelp!ā presents some of the most iconic scenes and songs in any Beatles-related film not named āBroad Streetā. And gentlepeople, this week, Tony & T.J. have got the tapes on āHelp!ā- specially, the original MPI VHS - and they begin to break down the Fabās second movie. They also break down emotionally, as they ponder:
š¬ Does P3Z-CASZ represent a dystopian future, or merely a few (legal) edibles?
š£ (Angry Chicago Guy, after a few Malorts and general sadness because he hasnāt seen Diane since the series finale of āERā): HOW COME THE LONDON HARRODS DONāT SERVE NO FRIED CHICKEN LIKE THEY DO AT THE HARRODS CHICKEN SHACK ON SOUTH WABASH? AND HOW COME THESE BEATLE BOZOS MAKE SO MANY DUMB JOKES ABOUT REGIONAL CHICKEN RESTAURANTS BUT DONāT GOT THE BALLS TO SOLVE NO BROWNS MURDERS?
šøT.J. here - real Untitled Beatle Peedles have already streamed ā13 GREEN POTATOESā, the new kick-ass album from our very own MENDOZA that just dropped, right? RIGHT? Donāt make P3Z-CASZ find you! (See below for link!)
EPISODE LINKS
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13 Green Potatoes by MENDOZA on Bandcamp/Apple Music/Spotify! (and other streamers)